Pain or Sleep, Pain is Better

Well it seems my last few foggy sleep filled days may have been hormonally induced. Generally around this time of the month, I have a frenzied need to clean and organize which is followed by a day of pain and then it's pretty much over. This time just long agonizing days of fatigue. If I get the choice, I will take the pain. This sucks and I have wasted half a week. now don't get me wrong. I spend a fair bit of my life wasting time, but when I have goals and plans, don't get in my way.

So of course there is always a situation, always a decision to make. Today is new year's eve. I am totally fine with having no plans. It is just another day. OK, so I have made not so much resolutions but a list of things I want to accomplish this year. I have never done this before in such a detailed way. I feel that since last year was a difficult and I feel unsuccessful year, that I need a game plan. And I feel that a list of goals broken down into smaller manageable goals - as the time management people suggest - is the perfect way to provide that added guidance that I seem to need. At any rate, it is new year's eve and a couple of weeks ago I suggested to my mom that we hang out. You know order a pizza, watch a movie, nothing crazy. But now . . . it is cold outside and all I want is to stay in my PJ's and finish organizing my movie collection.

I know I must go however. I think she will be very disappointed if I don't go over. I do want to go, it is just getting motivated. Alright, I am going, I will jump in the shower at around 7 and leave after that.

Happy New Year's everyone. I hope 2010 is as successful for you as I plan it to be for me. Play safe tonight, you know how I worry.

Still Tired

So I have a whole pile of days off. From the 28th to the 6th. I had such big plans for stuff that I wanted to accomplish. So far they have been wasted. I have been off for 3 days and have done nothing. I haven't been able to stay awake for more than a couple of hours at a time. I wanted to tidy up a bit because the TV guy is coming tomorrow to try and fix why I have no TV upstairs. I still have time but I like doing house work during the day when the sun is shining but I guess I have no choice, he is coming tomorrow morning. Sigh!

I wanted to:
- cook about 20 meals for lunch
- organize my cassettes and sell a bunch on ebay
- go through the crap in the porch
- go through the crap in the 3rd bedroom
- paint the living room

So Tired

So I have spent the last three days drifting in and out of sleep. What a waste of days off. I am still waking up congested so I hope at least this is because my body is still fighting something.

I saw the blindside with my mom A few nights ago and it was awesome. Let me qualify. I haven't watched a commercial in about five years. I saw the trailer and it intrigued me.

For two reasons. Reason number one. My mom is an asshole ... .. and I say that with all the love that an asshole gets. Ok, let me try to explain. I am in the corrective justice industry. So right off the hop you can assume (and you can assume this to some extent that all my "clients" are being consequenced justly for the crime that he is sentenced to. Now don't get me wrong,I firmly believe in in the capacitry for a man to change.

Life is a long lesson. And I know my class hasn't been that long yet. And I get that the learning curve is a fluid concept. But I am also a realist so I ... at the same accept that the mistakes that led a man (or a a woman) to the place where he/she is now has a bit of power ... it's all how you look as it..


Anyway back to the movie.

I Am A Little Scared

I am worried that my cat is sick. How do you know? You can ask him questions? He is eating and drinking normally which I assumed would be the first clue to something wrong. But he is acting out of the norm. I have looked for puke and haven't found anything. Generally he spends most of the day downstairs with me. When I go upstairs to get something or to go to the bathroom he waits at the bottom of the stairs just to make sure I am coming back down. if I spend too much time upstairs or downstairs, he follows me. But for the last two days he has been upstairs by himself in the dark on the bed. I can't really afford to take him to the vet and I go back to work tomorrow so I won't be home to notice him being out of sorts. If after tomorrow he is still not himself, I will call to make an appointment. Hopefully I can get him in by the end of the week.

Wow, It's Been Awhile

It has been over a month since I have put up a new post. It has been a fun, busy, serious month.

I have been working midnights AND I LOVE THEM!. If I had known this four years ago, no one would ever have seen me in the bright light of day. And sadly, now that I have discovered how much I love the back shift, I can't work it because our supervisors are no longer allowing block exchanges. Why, I believe that it is part pure laziness and part vindictiveness. Lazy because of the work inputting the exchanges would be and vindictiveness because people would actually get what they want. How dare workers even try to be happy or enjoy their jobs?! At any rate, they can throw whatever they want at us. They bent me before but didn't break me. It is not going to happen now.

Then, I had a revelation that has and will continue to - if I can keep my word to myself - to improve my life on many levels. I stopped drinking for a month. It doesn't seem like a lot but I would get drunk about once a week with my buddy. My friend drinks pretty much every day and I guess the excuse that I would use to myself was that I wasn't drinking nearly as much as her. But that doesn't say anything about the guilt I was feeling, the money I was spending and how crappy I felt the next day or two after. Not to mention the fact that when I was drinking I felt invincible in front of VLT's - that all fits in the the amount of money being spent. So I just stopped. And I feel better, emotionally and physically. My days off aren't spent recovering.

But that wasn't what I meant to talk about today. My point and I do have one is about the cost of my TV/Landline/Internet bill. I was or rather still am really excited because I saved myself about $65 a month on my bill for the next twelve months. That is a total savings of $780. Where I live, there are two competing companies for TV/Landline/Internet and up until this summer, I have never paid full price because I would call and they would basically price match. Well then I upgraded to the PVR package last month. I have been paying full price since September and have been hating it. Wow TV is expensive. Well TV and internet. I don't have a landline because I have a cell phone although between you and me - when they told me they disconnected the landline, they really didn't. It is my emergency line now when I lose the cell phone.

So I have been paying $81 for TV and $50 for internet plus tax, so about $146. Now I will paying $50 for TV and $20 for internet plus tax, so about $79 for a savings of $67. Now that sounds like a wicked deal so I will update when I get the first bill but whatever. HOW MUCH DO I ROCK!

Back and Relaxed

My Life In Cars - Part 3 - Pathfinder - Find Your Way, Don't Do What I Did

So here I am. One year left on a loan that is twice my mortgage. Do I regret the Pathfinder?

Pros
- it is incredibly safe on the highway, which I travel on a lot
- it is big enough to transport tools and home improvement accessories
- it is great for camping
- when I get a trailer, it will tow it no problem
- it's way comfortable to drive
- according to others, it rates high on the cool factor

Cons
- gas will never be 80 cents again and it is a 6 cylinder
- ridiculous car payment
- tires are crazy expensive
- repairs are crazy expensive (import)

The main problem is this ridiculous car payment. There are three reasons why I even have the $700 a month payment which is by the way, double my mortgage. (1) I bought more car than I needed at the time (2) I rolled $8000 of negative equity into this current loan and (3) I have no business purchasing a car without help.

I have one year left and it won't go fast enough. I could have sold the Pathfinder - nicknamed Bazoo 2 in honour of the Rav - but I didn't, mainly because of my fear of purchasing vehicles. Looking back - you know - 20/20 vision and all, I should have spent the money to fix the Rav and kept her. It would have been way cheaper than where I am now. And if the Rav had still died an undignified death on the side of the road somewhere, I should have bought within my means. Perhaps a Honda since I wasn't exactly very trusting of the Toyota brand at that point, although I should say it again. Please don't sue me Toyota. No one that I have ever talked to ever knew anyone that had a bad Rav story.

Can I make it through the next year. Of course I can, I have made it through the last four. Will it be difficult. Perhaps, it will be extremely difficult if not impossible if I don't stop sabotaging my own life with stupidity. Somehow I think this is a Crossroads for me. And I can only hope that I take the correct turn.

My Life In Cars - Part 2 - The Rav Chronicles

So, I looked at this horrible accident and the mystery of my buddy coming through it unscathed as some kind of a sign.

I had been eying up the Toyota Rav 4 for a while. Fortunately I had already been doing some informal research, so after a couple more weeks of formal research, I was ready to make a purchase.

I bought from a car store that I now know is more like a loan shark but live and learn I suppose. I know believe that this vehicle was somehow involved in some sort of significant accident; perhaps in Eastern Canada and it was shipped here and sold to me because I am too stupid to know better. I believe this because I had constant little problems with it and near the end I had major problems.

And the entire time, everyone I ever talked to had a similar answer.

Hmm, my uncle, aunt, nephew, baba etc. has a Rav 4 and has never had any problems.

After a while, I thought it was me but I did take care of my Rav. She was 4 door, two wheel drive, in a girly purple colour. And her name was Bazoo. She was named while road touring out in the country. It fit so it stuck.

And the Bazoo I guess was more reliable than not at least up until the end. She took me to the lake numerous times. Once out to Calgary, once out to Edmonton. Twice to Saskatoon. Once to the states to go shopping.

I actually don't remember what the purchase price was but after the fact, very helpful friends informed me that I had paid more than she was worth. And this is even while I had a male buddy with me at the dealer doing all the wheeling and dealing for me. Note to self, do my own deals. And then I only have me to blame.

At the end, the Bazoo broke down at work and had to be towed 25 Km. I was told hoses were the problem. My then fiance worked with car accessories so I got the hoses cheap and spent way to long replacing them. Mainly because I didn't know what the heck I was doing. When we were done (me and fiance) I felt awesome. My first major car repair. After the hoses were changed, still no car. So I broke down and took her to my mechanic. Rather towed her to my mechanic. The problem turned out to be some small heater piece that fell off the rad. I drove her for another few months and then traded her in.

Winter was coming and winter was always an issue. The winter problem was getting progressively worse. I couldn't get into the car without crawling in the passenger side because the driver side door was always frozen shut even though I stopped washing her in September. More than that, the passenger door wouldn't stay shut once opened so I had to buckle the door closed. The heat gradually seemed to stop working so I had to run her longer and longer to get going. I just had enough.

I had started a new job a few months before the trade-in and made quite a bit more than before. I had also bought the house. I felt like an adult and traded in the Rav with $8000 owing on it. I bought a 2003 Pathfinder Chilkoot for $30000 total. I think about it now and it doesn't make sense. I wanted the vehicle more than I an ounce of common sense. I think the loan should have been more like $22000. The trade-in and the negative equity should have just about balanced out - right? Anyhow, I ended up making payments higher than I already had, which I didn't want and I believe my sales guy got promoted from that deal. After he stopped laughing at me, he better have been sending me some good vibes. In fact he should still be sending them. I might have made his career.

Next: The Pathfinder

There Is Always Something To Worry About

Well, I am off for two weeks to visit the relos. I managed to get a seat sale and put it on a buddy's credit card. I had the money but of course I have spent most of it at this point.

I haven't told her this yet but I am hoping she can wait until the end of October. Although I guess she has no choice.

I am very much looking for ward to the trip except for the fur kids. A couple of years ago when I went, I left them in the house with a friend that promised to come over daily and spend a bit of time with them and bring in the mail. She is off of work and lives very close so it isn't as disruptive to her life as it sounds. But she wasn't very excited about doing it. And even though I called the kids and talked to them on the answering machine daily so they didn't think I had abandoned them - (yes I will be a crazy cat lady one day) - I still felt really guilty.

So this time, I am taking the kids to my moms and my friend who I owe money to will house sit. She is an awesome advocate of animals every where and will take great care of them. My worry is the little one who is really skittish. I can't decide whether leaving her alone is better than moving her for the two weeks. I will still be calling to talk to them so they know I haven't abandoned them but I am still worried. I will take things that smell like me there so they will feel at home. Besides, I lived there for 20 years. My smell must still be there.

Ohhh, so little time, so much guilt.

I Hate This Feeling But Yet I Keep Doing It To Myself

Sigh, I did it to myself. I have been stressed and worried about money for about two weeks. Thankfully I can sleep because my waking hours I feel like a black cloud is hanging over my head.

I wish this was this time next year. Living like a hermit for four years has taken it's toll. One more year.

A couple of weeks ago a tooth broke in half. It had a cavity - a root canal in fact and I guess there was a piece of the filling that broke somewhere along the way. I noticed a sharp edge when I flossed but thought nothing of it. Well, I over cooked some pizza and one bite of dense crunchy crust and snap. Luckily I have good coverage so it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

So that was an expense that was necessary. I ignored it for a week and just didn't chew on that side but after a week the gum was swollen and sore and red so the dentist was the only option. Plus if I add in unnecessary expenses. I spend money foolishly when I am stressed. You would think that knowing the aftermath of guilt and worry would stop me in the first place, but not so much. So here I am again, End of September and I had more month than money. If I had just stayed home!

CRAP

I am feeling overwhelmed.

My Life In Cars - Part 1 - Corolla: Love Of My Life

Let's go back, waaaaay back to when I was just a little gaffer yearning for a vehicle.

Picture it, summer of '96. I had my first real adult job in a town 100 kilometers a way and I was tired of borrowing my mom's car. And she was tired of me borrowing it. I wanted to buy a car. I did a fair bit of research 'cause that's how I roll. No spontaneity here (at least then anyway). I knew that I wanted a used Toyota or Honda. Initially I had wanted a Lada or a Hyundai. I was actually leaning towards the Lada. I liked the shape and they were cheap. My peers were not impressed. In fact one guy from work said - and I am paraphrasing:

These cars are made by people who make about 6 cents an hour. Do you really think there is a whole lot of quality control. Do you think they actually give a s**t whether the steering wheel is actually connected to the tires?

So after several friends rolled around laughing and crying, I quickly changed that idea. The laughter wasn't as loud regarding the Hyundai but same idea for that vehicle. And just a side note, they aren't laughing now. If I had bought a Hyundai in 2005, I wouldn't be in this situation and I would still have a reliable vehicle.

But I digress. So I went looking and I saw a 1993 black Toyota Corolla. And I fell in love. And then I got in it and the driver's seat hugged me so softly and invitingly. I was hooked. Unfortunately the salesman was in the passenger seat and I am sure he saw my expression when I touched the steering wheel for the first time. That car completed me and I knew at that moment if I left her get away I would regret it for the rest of my life.

That car represented the most successful relationship of my life thus far. It was flawless and together we were magic. I hand washed her every week. I vacuumed every crumb or grain of sand. And she never let me down. I didn't name her, but I know she was a she.

She carried lumber and bricks and snotty kids who left McDonald's french fries stuffed in her seats. Her butt was naked as her Toyota emblem was stolen early in our relationship. She had a very long scrape on her driver side where one of my drop-in kids parked her too close to a cement building while I was teaching him to drive. I felt the pain like my own flesh had been cut but she was just a car after all and the kid felt bad enough. She never complained and I did my best to keep her safe.

And then there was the summer of '99. I was working at the drop-in and the guy I worked with drove her back a day early because he had an appointment he couldn't miss. I still feel some guilt, we were up quite late arguing over something that he shared with me that day. In hindsight, he should have told me either before or after the trip but who was to know. Anyhow, He drove her because we needed the van to transport kids and camping gear. She he loaded her up with empty coolers etc. to ease the space issues in the van on the way back. He fell asleep somewhere along the way and when the road curved, he went straight. From the damage it looked like he flipped forward end over end and then landed on the passenger side. Luckily, he had his window open because he was feeling drowsy and wanted the air. IMPORTANT PUBLIC SERVICE MESSAGE: Don't drive while drowsy, it only takes a second with your eyes closed to drastically change your life. We were lucky, many are not.

He should have been killed. The only part of the car that was not damaged was the driver's compartment. The passenger side was pushed into the console. The rear seats were pushed to the front. The front engine compartment was pushed in. Not only was he not killed, he wasn't even injured. His chest was sore from the seat belt and he had a headache and a cut on his head when an empty cooler came flying forward and smacked him in the back of the head. He had some general aches and pains but he was basically untouched. My Corolla's last act was to protect my buddy from harm and as corny as it sounds I truly believe that. He told me the car stopped on the passenger side and he had to unbuckle himself and crawl out of the driver window. He then crawled to the shoulder and laid there until someone saw the wreckage and called emergency professionals.

I guess it was around a week later we went to the compound to pick up some items from the car, trunk etc. The car was so mangled, I couldn't get the car mats out of the backseat and the passenger side. We took pictures and hugged and cried. It was sad - because we knew what could and really what should have happened although we have never spoken the words out loud. It was sad - because my beloved car was in fact dead. But of course, it was more important to have my friend.

So, I needed a car. I kind of looked at it as serendipity. I had been eyeing up the Toyota Rav 4. I wasn't cheating on my Corolla but a girl is allowed to look right.

Next, the Rav chronicles.

Uh Oh, I've Just Flown Above The Radar

So I have pissed off the bank gods. I noticed that I wasn't able to access some money in my overdraft over a week ago and then again last week on payday. I called the telephone centre and they didn't know. But it happened the first time a couple of days before payday so no big deal. And then I noticed it again. So I called again and they sent me to my home branch. I never go there or talk to anyone. I do absolutely everything online but use the ATM. I called twice and left messages and received no response. So I expected everything to go as it normally would. It should have been fine except my mortgage payment didn't come out.

Anyhow, I sent an online message and then the bank phoned to tell me there were two problems (1) I have had 9 items returned in the past two years and (2) I have a savings account in overdraft that doesn't have an overdraft. Number 2 I know is a problem and I have been eking away at it but obviously not fast enough for them. Number 1 - obviously I am not a banker but 9 in two years doesn't seem all that bad to me. But obviously it doesn't matter what I think.

So I was told that if I pull up my socks and use the account appropriately for 3 to 6 months, then the held amount will be released. And it's a goofy amount too - $255.12 - bizarre. So I said why not take of the hold to make the mortgage payment. She was shocked that they would not take the payment and said she would look in to it and called me back and the mortgage was paid. Basically it means I have to stop being an idiot when it comes to money. I knew that but at least this is more motivation.

Sigh, everything gets better in 14 months when my car loan is done.

Inspired By The Flylady

I am a part of the Flylady group. I received a message today called "Food For Thought - No More Hunger" and she was talking about how much food is wasted by grocery stores and I thought I would respond and tell her my story. And then I realized what a great blog entry it would be . . .


Talking about wasted food. I used to work at a major national grocery store for 8 years when I was in university. I was also volunteering at an inner-city youth drop in centre. I used to be one of the ones to sift throw the dairy shelves and throw out “old” dairy items and at the end of the day clear out the leftover bakery items . The drop in I volunteered at served snacks to the children and it didn’t take very long before it started to make me sick to have to throw away good food because of a date. It was also this stores policy not to mark down items. They figured that then people would wait and only by the markdowns. They were so bent on throwing things away they got locked garbage bins so that street people couldn’t take the food out of the trash.


I bugged my manager for about 2 years. There were meetings with me and with the directors of the drop in. She wanted to make sure I wasn’t (or that the drop in wasn’t) reselling the food for profit. I tried to talk her into donating directly to the food bank. I knew from inquiring hypothetically that they would gladly make regular pickups at the store. I had big dreams of all the stores in city eventually donating food to their local non-profit organization. My managers answer to that was an emphatic no! She was worried about liability of someone eating something and perhaps getting sick and suing the store. So in order to make this deal happen, no one could know where the food came from. When she said that, I knew I was starting to soften her up.


Anyhow after constant hounding, she finally wore down. She tried to make the rules as inconvenient for me personally. Only I could pick up the food and only at 10:45 pm at night. Even if the shelves were broke down in the morning, it would sit (sometimes) in the cooler until night. Some of it went bad but the other employees that silently backed what I was trying to do would squeeze as much in the cooler as they could without getting in the way of stuff that had to be moved.


After about 6 months, I guess she realized these strict rules were actually hindering the way things worked at the store. I guess she figured that I would give up but I didn’t. Sometimes I took more stuff than we could use and in those instances we just gave it away. We also got food from a food bank so no one ever knew it was this store. The best part was we didn’t get a lot of dairy from the food bank. We were able to make sure that the kids had yogurts in their lunch and milk for their families. And we even started to make pizzas because we had cheese – it was to expensive to buy! So she ended up actually giving me a letter on company letterhead and the directors could do the pickups as long as they had the letter. After about 4 years she transferred to another store. I am sure the then ragged letter would have still been sufficient but by that time, I was working full time at the drop-in and wasn’t familiar with the new manager. I didn’t want to fight with the new guy and I had proved my point and helped feed an entire neighbourhood. (After a while, the stock boys would save anything that was damaged and headed for the garbage so we got pans and measuring cups and all sorts of stuff).


So in the spirit of Flylady. In North America over a million children go to bed hungry every night. Pressure your stores and try to force them to do the right thing. In this time of greenness and social responsibility, there shouldn't even be a question.

A Brother Mourned

I found out today that a co-worker died in a dramatic car crash. He was travelling down a divided road and a car turned into his lane. His truck rear ended the car and then he swerved into the other lane and was hit by a semi. I imagine he was dead on impact.

It is so sad. He was only 32. A young guy. He just got married this year. He has an infant child. I know he had a solid group of friends and was very well liked. We weren't close and thinking about it never worked together in the four years I have been there but everyone knows everyone so I am still affected. Especially since in my blog of a few days ago I talked about the very thing that killed him. Stupid people that turn into a lane where a car is already driving when there is not enough time for the person to react. Please people be careful. Wait the 5 seconds for the car to pass.

What is worse is that yesterday was the annual golf tournament of another guy from work who died on the highway on his motorcycle when a senior drifted into his lane and hit him head on. So on the day we honoured a brother who passed away, we are now burying another.

My thoughts and prayers go out to his family and friends. And to everyone at work who cared about him.

Intro

I guess I should change my intro. Since I am not moving in with mommy, that seems like a misnomer. No I don't think I will change it. I think I will just amend it so that it reflects the change in focus.

Attempts To Be Frugal Thwarted

I just received a speeding ticket in the mail today. It's one of those speed trap sneaky camera ones. I am not complaining, don't get me wrong. I was going 17 kilometers over the speed limit. I definitely deserved the ticket. I am just upset with myself because I can't control my "road rage" sometimes. I think I can remember exactly when I got the ticket.

It was August 23rd on the way to work. And I vaguely remember thinking ... was that a guy sitting in that truck. I was doing fine. I used to get A LOT of those tickets. Thank goodness they don't count towards your insurance since the officers can't prove who was driving your car. I used to drive fast all the time. But because of ridiculous cost and bad gas mileage, I made a concerted effort to stop being a jackass.

The only problem is when I get angry, I forget all about my pledge to drive slower and safer. And I remember the incident. I was in the left lane and this car waited just about until I was at the intersection he/she was waiting to turn at and then just before I got there, they turned. So I had to hammer on my brakes so as not to rear end this fool. I would have swerved as well but there were parked cars in the right lane. Guess what, then they drove at about 1/2 the speed limit. So this fool almost caused an accident by rushing to blend into traffic and then suddenly the urgency is gone and he/she is driving like the lead car in parade.

When I had the chance I zoomed around this moving hazard and stewed for a couple blocks with my foot firmly on the gas pedal. Aargh $220 wasted.

September 2009 Update

Mortgage 1 $42,325.94
Mortgage 2 $10,179.45
Car Loan $10,002.11
LOC $ 8,000.00
MC 1 $ 1,229.00
MC 2 $ 2,003.00

Me and Ma Out On The Town

So a couple of months ago, my mom said she wanted to see a Celtic singer - Daniel O'Donnell in concert when he performed here. I had never heard of him but was intrigued because I love Celtic music. (I really think I should have been born Scottish, but oh well, I can dream). I wasn't too keen on going mailny because I knew the average age of the concert goer would be about 85 - BTW I was wrong, it was more like 90.

But I love my mom and she really wanted to go and it wouldn't cost me anything so I said ok. Well, it was quite an experience. O'Donnell and his group are great entertainment. He obviously loves to sing and it shows. He tells jokes and stories and they are all outrageously funny. And then youo have the Irish accent and that always makes everything better. I was pretty surprised when we were looking for our seats and found out we had floor seats. I thought the tickets were very expensive and I didn't buy floor seats because I wasn't spending my money but I really have no memory of purchasing floor seats. But the upside to that is that he cruises around the audience and we were on the end so Mama Bear and I got to shake his hand. And he certainly gives you your bang for your buck. The concert had an intermission and an encore and was just over 3 hours long.

I told Mama Bear last night I wouldn't go again but in the bright light of day, I would. If only because she really enjoys him and I love her. Next time I will pay. They are going to be in Minot in 2010. I have a year to convince her to take a road trip with me. Plus, we went out for dinner first and who doesn't like an excuse to go out for dinner.

Square One

Well, I told the window company to beat it. After getting over my anger and thinking rationally, I understand what was happening. They didn't have the money to buy materials which is why that asked for a 50% deposit. I believe they low balled the quote to hook me and then tried a bait and switch type game to try and make a little more. Or maybe they just figured I was a pain and just wanted to see if I would bite but didn't care if I didn't because I was such a pain. By a pain I mean telling them I would not be paying a 50% deposit, repeatedly asking for a written quote and questioning why it has taken so long to get to this point.

They don't know that my mom managed to hire quite a few shysters when doing home repair and that I learned a heck of a lot by watching her experiences. To my knowledge, a customer is only required a 10% deposit once the final contract is signed and that you can also withhold 10% deposit up to 30 days affter the job is completed so that you can make sure there are no problems. The idea being that the company won't disapperar if you stilll owe them money and will return to your home to fix anything that needs to be fixed if they want it at the end of the 30 days. I can almost hear the cash register sound when some of these jokers come to my house to do an estimate for windows, doors, roof etc. and see a young(ish) woman open the door. They assume I don't know what I want or what I am talking about and figure they are going to double the regular price and make some easy money. Not so, and I have asked a couple to get out of house after gettting an outrageous quote. So I am back to square one, and for inconveniencing me and wasting my time aI am seriously considering filing a complaint with the Better Business Bureau. Wish me luck.

But right now I am going to jump in the shower. My mom and I are going to a concert tonight and are heading out for dinner before hand so I have to run.

The Window Saga Continues

So I thought everything was cool with the windows and I was expecting the final contract in the mail. And then yesterday they called. I wasn't awake when they called and called back about an hour later and no answer. I thought that was weird but so far eveything with them has been weird so . . . I know they have call display since the woman answers with my name when I call so I knew she would know I called and expected her to call me back. No call yesterday. Hmmm. So I called when I woke up this morning and this is the jist of what she told me. They have two suppliers. One American and one Canadian. The Canadian company makes better quality windows more suited to Canadian winters and the American company makes lesser quality windows. Now since I obviously live in Canada and must experience Canadian winters, it would make sense to me that this would be the supplier she would choose when we initially talked about windows. But it wasn't. I did say price was a factor but I also made it clear that first and foremost, I wanted a good quality window. So of course now she is saying that the American company is way behind in production and if I wanted a better quality window the $1800 estimate would now be roughly $200 to $500 more.

So this is of course why she would not give me a written estimate. I have a number for a guy that works at a window manufacturing company. The problems with that are (1) I would have to pay cash (which I won't have for a couple of months), (2) since it would be under the table, I can't claim the tax credit and (3) I am a little sick of all things windows right now. So now what, keep letting this company jerk me around because I don't have the cash right now or wait and pay less but up front? Sigh . . .

One Step Closer

When I bought this house, I knew there were insulation issues. It was built in 1913 after all and it was obvious that previous owners had not been taking regular care. So I have insulated the completely uninsulated addition (8 " x 8") and mud room. I replaced the window in the mudroom. I still need to replace the window in the addition but I want to replace it with patio doors so I'm not going to bother. I will just keep covering it in plastic in the winter.

I have also added insulation to the attic and have filled every gap with dozens of cans of monofoam. The basement is still not finished but this fall I am going to cap all of the joist ends to try and cut down on basement drafts.

So I wanted to get 3 upstairs windows replaced when I had two weeks off at the end of July. Obviously I haven't got it done yet. I have had about 4 estimates done in the last four years. One was way too cheap, one was way too expensive and the other two were alright but I didn't have the cash at the time. Fortunately for me now, the hydro company is giving out loans to so "green" home improvements so I applied to do it that way. The company I am going with may be a mistake. It has taken about 2 1/2 months to get to the final estimate point. But they have given me a good price and after researching and installing a window myself, I know what to look for. I can't wait. I believe the windows are the last part of the main insulation problem. During the winter, I wear layers and toques and still end up paying about $500 a month (electricity and gas) during the 3 or 4 cold winter months. That is way too much. And that is with windows covered in plastic. I can't wait to get through a winter without plastic taped to my walls.

So the measurer guy tells me I will get the estimate in the mail, I guess that will be the contract and we will go from there. I almost can't wait until winter. I plan to insulate under the addition since there is no other way to stop the upward migration of cold air. That is to be done this fall as well. Bring it winter, I AM READY!

3 Cable Boxes and One Allergic Repairman Later

Well the tech guy never called back yesterday so I took that to mean that, whatever the problem was, it could not be fixed on their end. So another night watching movies or old stuff on the DVR. It was a blessing in disguise I guess. I got rid of about 30 hours of old DVR shows.

At any rate, the cable guy got here at about 0930 hrs. I was up but only kind of awake. He came in with what appeared to me to be a bit of an attitude. Was it my messy house? Was it his cat allergy? ( I know he wasn't fond of cats when he had the nerve to swat my big lovable guy out of the way, seriously). Obviously because he complained about both, he also complained about the lack of play in my cables. I must be such a jerk for tying my cables up neatly behind my entertainment unit. Did I mention this is all happening at 0930 hrs? On days off, I normally get up at noon. Anyhow, he asked me several questions over and over again (was anyone here this weekend - NO, were any cable messed with - NO, is the TV upstairs doing the same thing - YES, and your internet still work - YES). I was almost to the point of yelling at him. So he narrowed it down to the cable box being defective. He said it was very hot and that I should put my DVR on top of the box because it can't get ventilation. Basically he said, it's ok if your DVR cacks out but heaven forbid don't ruin your free cable box?! Huh, I don't care about your hardware!

He says he has more boxes in the truck and off he goes. He comes back in , gets it all hooked up and ... more of the same - nothing but fuzzy static, not even a cloudy picture. He does all sorts of adjustments and finally comes to the conclusion that this box must also be defective. It is freshly refurbished out of the box but apparently their techs have a rep for not actually repairing defective units. So he says he will be back in 10 - 15 minutes. He is going to check the cable box on the pole and grab another cable box.

On the upside, when he comes back, he is clearly perturbed by the boxes but has much less annoyed by me. He has discovered that the lines on the pole and in my home are fine. I had already figured that out because, I still had internet and because I wasn't home - what could have possibly changed.

He brought some kind of diagnostic tool and hooked it up to both cable boxes and discovered they were both defective. Now I am not a rocket scientist, nor am I a certified cable guy but it seems to me that if you have this handy little machine, one or two things should happen. One, he should have brought the damn machine in the first time. I think from my description of events, machine failure was really the only option. Secondly, if he is provided with this magical machine AND he knows that the refurbished units sometimes don’t work, USE THE F***EN THING TO CHECK THOSE MACHINES BEFORE YOU LEAVE THE SHOP!

Whatever, he is now on a mission and has forgotten all about my house and my cat. He goes out to get yet another box. It is a different model than the one I currently have and it is the last one in his truck. I am excited because I am sure that it will work. Well without my even telling him to, he used his diagnostic machine to check it and guess what – IT DOESN’T work either. He is sheepish and stumped and almost snarling mad at their tech guys. He said he has no more boxes but he actually has one left – his own personal tester machine. Well, he gets that – he knows it works and there are no other options. He gets it all hooked up and there were a couple of tense moments, rally almost a couple of dozen tense moments but it eventually synched up to everything it needs to and BOOM, TV was back. He was sweaty, annoyed and visibly bewildered. He went upstairs to make sure that TV was fine, it was. He did some slight remote controls adjustments and I was good to go. He mentioned that this call would be a story for the shop. Odds and circumstance have made my home a cable man’s cautionary tale. Maybe they will even put in a policy about checking the units first.

But all is well, I should just appreciate getting my MTV back.

Techinal Difficulties

I have to say - I love TV. TV and I have had a love affair since I was a young girl. So when I came home from the cabin, the first thing I wanted to do was curl up with my neglected kitties and watch some. I had grainy picture and the sound was just loud and staticky (?). But yesterday was a holiday and I couldn't get tech support. I called today and he had me unplug my cable box and re-plug it in and now it's worse than it was before. Now I have nothing. I have internet but no TV. It is just fuzzy snow. I am trying very hard not to have a panic attack.

Techie guy just phoned back and they are going to try to fix it on their end. If they can't they will send a guy out tomorrow morning. This sucks.

I was relaxed

I just came back from 4 days at my buddies cabin and it was a great weekend. I used to go frequently. I would help open and close the cabin and also go as much as I could during the season. But now that I am working shift work, it has been problematic getting the time off. Also since I have bought a house, money is alot tighter than it used to be. So, I must admit, I was a little apprehensive about going. I haven't been for three years.

And it was awesome! I never realized how happy and relaxed I was until we got back to the city and literally I was hit by a wave of memory of day to day problems. I felt the tight squeeze of money stresses I currently suffering. The memory of that horrible feeling has renewed my resolve to be better at the business of earning and spending money.

I want a cabin and I thought I could make do with having a trailer on a lot but I am not so sure. I will experiment with this concept first because it is a cheaper option but I think I want the stability of a cabin and neighbours etc. Everyone needs to have that get away and for me nature is just that. I mean don't get me wrong, this weekend was more about drinking than nature but the nature was a part of it as well. I am already planning for next year.

I Guess This Is The Second Thing

So I get in my car on my way home from work and check my phone and find out a close friend had two heart attacks yesterday. He had to have surgery to have a stint put in and angioplasty and is now in the intensive care unit. What a stressful week. I was supposed to go to work today but called in sick so I could sleep. This new schedule has me so tired. I slept for 16 hours. I have only been awake for about 6 hours and now am on my way back to bed. Things happen in threes, I can't even begin to guess what the third thing will be.

I Need To Try Harder

So last Saturday, the mother of one of my closest friends passed away. She only lived about 3 months after the cancer diagnosis. It has been a sad few months. But for sure, one thing this experience of death and loss is teaching me is that I need to be a better person.

First of all I need to be far more patient with my mom. Over the last few years, I have noticed her slow down considerably. She is moving slower and at times is a little more unsure of herself. I have been impatient with her I guess because I expect the mom of a few years and also because noticing these changes scares and frustrates me.

I bought my mom a Tivo unit for her birthday/mother's day. I wanted her to be able to watch the shows that she likes. Using the VCR was not the best system and I knew I would never be able to teach her how to use a DVR, plus I got a wicked deal. The best part is that if she wants a show recorded, I can set it up online. Easy peasy! There have been some kinks but over all this system works really well. If I let it, the Tivo could be a source of great frustration for me which would result in me being short and crusty to mom, but I am determined not to let it. My mom is 63 and any buddy's mom was 60. Yikes.

RIP

It's Been Awhile

Wow, it's been a long time since I have posted. And so much has happened. First I decided not to move back in with my mom. We are both adults very much stuck in our ways and we would butt head on a daily basis. At least we know that now. It is sad but exciting at the same time. The worst part is that I have to wait until October of 2010 to finish off my car loan. That will free up $700 a month that can go towards other debt, helping out mom, home repairs, investing or just fun stuff like vacations. So that realization is a little disappointing but I am still dedicated to being debt free in the next five years, I just have to readjust my plan.

Also I broke a friend out of the drunk tank last week. That was a new and unpleasant experience. She seems to be spiralling at this time and I am not sure what can be done to either slow or stop the spiral. It is very tiring to be her friend right now, but I care and I know she would do it for me so I will just endure.

Lastly but definitely not leastly, another close friend lost her mother to cancer. She was diagnosed about two and a half months ago and it progressed very rapidly. I haven't talked to her as she has not answered phone etc. which of course is understandable so I just left a message telling her I was thinking of her and her family. And really that's all I can do.

My new list of goals

My new list of goals

1/2 - cook about a month worth of meals (20 supper and 20 breakfast)
YES - do some decluttering (who can't say that)
NO - mow the lawn for the first time, maybe even rake
YES - fix door in the addition
YES - put door on pan cabinet
YES - move Tupperware cabinet onto counter
YES - pull out stove and clean behind it
- organize my coupons
- finish painting my stairs
- insulate door in the addition
- put work schedule on outlook
- clean out and drywall addition and mudroom
- wash pillows
- change CFL in living room lamp (tedious and time consuming)
- move storage cabinet into the addition
- golf on Wednesday
- baseball on Thursday

So I haven't cooked any suppers yet and I haven't yet decided what I want to cook. I have to peruse some recipes and figure that out.

I often joke about having adult ADHD but the older I get the more I think that it might be more true than funny. Either that or I have a case of the bi-polar. (No offense intended to anyone clinically diagnosed with either ailment, please read further before you get angry.)

I woke up today and I was terrified because I had this crazy dream about a door being in the wall of my basement that only homeless people knew about and used to congregate in my basement when it was cold or rainy. At any rate, after the terror had passed, I got up with some vigour and excitement about the day ahead. I had no definite plan but I felt that today would be productive. And it appears I was right although nothing I did was actually intended.

I made a nice breakfast of waffles and bacon when I awoke and I have discovered that the downfall of regular meals is that you get hungry on a regular basis. I usually don't eat more than one meal a day so this three meal thing is a pain. So I decided I would take a couple of steaks out of the freezer for later. I went into the addition and immediately got sidetracked by a bag of recycling. Before I got to the freezer, I went back into the house to grab some newspapers for the recycling bag.

ASIDE - Usually when I go grocery shopping, I come in the back door with the bags because the kitchen is right there instead of dragging them through the house. During the winter, probably sometime in January, I came in the back door and then spent about 45 minutes trying to get it shut. It was hard to close and I didn't even try to open it again until last week when I figured that the winter melt was over and the door would be easy to open. Well I didn't try because I noticed that the deadbolt was bent as the door had obviously shifted quite dramatically. (Very scary - what does that mean for my foundation? I won't even worry about that until I have to.)

Anyhoo, when I came back with the recycling, my next thought was, Hmm, I should try to get that door open and I can take the recycling out now. So after about an hour, two screwdriver bits and a fair amount of swearing. I did get the door fixed, which is ok after all it was on my list of goals. Oh yes, I have added a few new goals and added the things I did that I didn't plan on. I know I won't get the drywall up in the mudroom and addition but I do intend on cleaning them out. Then I decided I wanted to move my coffeemaker. That involved moving a small cabinet from one counter to another. I then decided to finally put the door on the counter I had just moved the cabinet from. I had put it off because I thought it would be difficult. Guess what, it took me about 10 seconds. Stupid, stupid, why do I procrastinate?!

So all of this took about two and a half hours. I was sweaty and tired and sat down to take a long gulp of my water bottle. I then noticed an odd pain. Damn, I never did take the bloody steaks out of the freezer.

As a result, I went to the addition and I took out the steaks. It was actually a struggle to stay focused. I had so many little projects zipping through my head. But I did take them out and have them for supper and it was fantastic. All that done because of steaks for supper.

Three and a half days left.

One goal accomplished!

So the casserole was alright. I got up this morning and popped it in the oven. It was nice, I don't normally have breakfast but I woke up pretty excited knowing that it was waiting for me. It doesn't take much to make me happy. It was a little bland without salt but I added some and it was fine. I also discovered that it has to sit for about 10 minutes before you cut into it. It was a little runny, or rather oily from the sausage I think. So after I scarfed down a couple of pieces, I still had four small pieces to throw in the freezer for other happy mornings.

So it is 11 PM and I just finished putting together another one. I didn't have any sausage so I cut up bacon. Also this time, I sauteed, onions and mushrooms and red pepper before adding. I found the onion a little raw for my liking. I also added some wing sauce. Probably too much, I love the taste but I hate the heat. I added it to the saute. I put wax paper in the pan before adding the ingredients and have put it in the fridge for the flavours to mix and then I plan to take it out of the pan, wrap in the appropriate medium and then throw in the freezer. I also have enough of the saute mix for another one. I also have a piece of garlic sausage that I will use as the meat. I am only missing the milk, so I will have to get milk and then I can make one more for the freezer. So there are my 20 breakfasts. Now I have to get organized and decide what I want for suppers. I have about 5 or 6 containers in the freezer with suppers in them that I have been avoiding for a while. the meals were not that appetizing when I made them. However I packaged them up anyway thinking that I would eventually eat them but no. I think I will have to try to eat them at home. That way if they are horrid then I can eat something else.

Crap, did I mention there are critters living in the space between the first and second floor. I hear sounds right now and I don't think it is the cats. Also, I hear them (I am hoping it is only two small squirrels) in the middle of the night when both cats are snuggled up with me. I am kind of ignoring the problem right now because I am sure I can't afford whatever the cost is to get rid of them. Now that winter is over, and oddly I didn't hear them until spring, I will venture into the crawl space when someone is here with me to be my backup and put some poison in there. There cats have no access so there is no fear of a horrible accident.

Six days left.

EIGHT DAYS OFF, WOO HOO!

Ah the benefits of this new work schedule are being felt today. This is day one of eight days off. I know it feels like a lifetime now but I also know that on the morning of day 9 when I head back to work I will be lamenting about how quickly it went. So I am determined to make use of every moment. My goals for this week are to:

- finish painting my stairs
- cook about a month worth of meals (20 supper and 20 breakfast)
- do some decluttering (who can't say that)
- mow the lawn for the first time, maybe even rake
- fix and insulate door for the addition
- clean out and drywall addition and mudroom

It is ambitious I know but gotta aim high right. I am already ahead of the game, I made a breakfast quiche tonight. Damn I just realized I forgot to add salt and pepper. Oh well, I can add it when I eat it. I will bake it tomorrow and then divide into Dollarama containers to eat in the mornings. I am not a morning person at all and don't get up in time for breakfast so this is perfect. Here is the recipe:

Basic Breakfast Casserole

6 eggs
1 teaspoon salt
2 cups milk
1 teaspoon dry mustard
1 pound ground sausage
1 cup grated cheddar cheese
6 slices bread, broken into small pieces

Spray a 8 x 12 inch pan with non-stick spray. Brown and drain sausage. Mix eggs, milk and mustard in blender or whisk thoroughly. Add sausage, bread and cheese.. Pour in pan and refrigerate overnight. Bake in the morning at 350 degrees until egg is set, about half an hour.

I made some modifications. I had three buns that were a couple of days from going moldy so I used those for the bread and of course I forgot the salt. I also added about 1/2 cup of onions because I think everything should have onions in it. I also added about 1/2 diced Portobello mushrooms and roasted red pepper, just because. I don't really understand the mustard but I used it anyway. I will let you know how it goes.

Seven days left.

A Renter perhaps or am I staying

It looks like I have a renter for my house. Every day, I waffle on what to do with this place. I don't want to sell it but I don't want to live in it because I could save so much more living with my mom. But what to do with it in the meantime. Well, sadly a buddy from work has just broken up with his partner of 11 years and is looking for a place. The upside is he knows every thing that is wrong because we have already talked about it. Also he knows that I have been working hard on fixing things up since I have owned it. He knows I bought a new hot water tank last year etc. So he knows what he is getting into. He drove by the other day and liked the outside. We just have to coordinate schedules and do the walk-through.

But there is a problem. My mom. I love her to death, don't get me wrong but she was part of the reason why I moved out in the first place. She can't help herself from re-arranging stuff that doesn't belong to her. She can't stop poking her nose in places that it doesn't belong. If I am paying rent then I am paying for the right to put stuff where I want it. Not so. She was a firm believer in that whole my roof-my house argument. I thought that had changed, she has lightened up quite a bit in her old age but today I was made plainly aware that perhaps nothing has changed.

I don't have a vaccuum, just a Roomba. And it is great because I only have carpet upstairs but my mom feels the Roomba doesn't do a good job and comes with her vacuum to clean my carpets every once in a while. Whatever, I don't care. Well my Roomba is dead, so I welcomed her and her vacuum this afternoon. The problem was a couple of times she asked me if I wanted to do A or B. Both times I said no, I don't want that. Both times she completely disregarded what I wanted to do what she wanted. I feel like she either doesn't hear me or she does and she just doesn't care. I actually think it is one or the other depending on the situation.

So we parted and we were both upset. I called her later to make sure she got home ok because she hadn't called me yet and I tried to rationally explain how I felt. I was hoping she would say that she was sorry that she wasn't respecting my wishes in my house and that she would work on that. Instead she got mad and said she was never coming with her vacuum again. Knowing my mom the way I do, I bet right now she is stewing about how ungrateful I am and thinking that she is never coming back to this house period. Her reaction makes me think that if I moved back home, it would only be a short period of time before I was resenting her and was miserable like I was as a child. The only problem would be that I had to wait a year to get back into my house because I had rented it out to someone else.

What to do? And why I am I so bad at making decisions?

Homemade detergent and credit cards

I finally finished using my first ever batch of homemade detergent. It was good but I knew what I wanted to change when I made it again. It came out too thick and was thus very slow to come out of the container. Also I used Fa soap which I love but the smell was not very strong at all. Also, I felt I needed to add something as I had to use more of it per load then I was supposed to based on the advice of other web users. So this time I used two bars of Irish Spring soap. I grated them and put them in a pot with 4 cups of water. When it was liquidy, I turned the temp down to simmer and put in 1 cup of borax and stirred until smooth. Then I added 1 cup of washing soda and stirred until smooth. Just for added oomph, I then added 1 cup of baking soda and stirred until smooth. I then added 1 cup of vinegar slowly, so as not to foam up and cause a problem.

I use a 8.8 L jug, the big ones with the spout. I poured the warm solution into the jug and then add hot water until the jug was full. Then I just let it sit. Every time I walked by it I shook it up a little. By the next day, voila, 9 litres of laundry detergent. I tried it today and I still have a few issues. I don't have a nice Irish Spring scent like I expected. But on the upside it is more powerful even with more water. I used the amount I normally use and had to put the clothes in again to rinse. On the next load, I used half and then decided to use a third or a quarter next time. That is exciting. I am expecting this jug to last me an entire year. All that for about $5. Sweet.

I also had a small victory. I paid off one credit card. Mind you, it was a card with a $500 limit but it is done. I had already cancelled the card and was just paying it off. Now I am going to snowball that payment into my next card. I have two more cards. ONe with $1200 owing and one with $2000 owing. I have been reading lately about how one shouldn't cancel a credit card when it is paid off because that actually lowers your credit rating but I did that before I knew that information. THat and I was extremely unhappy with the company so I wouldn't have kept it anyway. My intention when I applied for it was to have a card with a small limit as my main card and to put away the card with the $2000 limit.

However, I have discovered the pay-as-you go credit cards. I have a Nextwave Titanium. I use it for online purchases. My thought is that if anyone gets the number oh well, I only put enough money on it to pay for things as they come up. I am going to get rid of this card though. The fees are horrendous. $7.50 a month and $0.50 per transaction. It also charges you $2 every time you put money on the card. I have ordered a Bank of Montreal card - it is the same card load idea, except you pay $10 for the card and there are hardly any fees. So I am anxiously awaiting its arrival so I can stop paying exorbitant fees.

My Crazy Old Neighbour

I feel way older than my years.

When I was growing up, the neighbours two doors down were an older couple. The wife was pretty nice but I thought the husband was a total jackass (God rest his soul). He patrolled his lawn like he was a general in the army. Unfortunately for him, there were about 7 of us (children) on the block and we all used to play together after school and all day during the summer. We did regular kid stuff- riding our bikes up and down the sidewalk, street hockey, street football and so on. He really had nothing to worry about. I mean if he was alive today, he would appreciate us as kids like I appreciate him now as the old guy on the street.

He used to yell at us constantly. These are the things that drove him nuts:

- stepping on or near his lawn
- if one of our bikes was laid down on or even near his lawn
- if we stepped on his property at all
- if one of our toys, balls, hockey pucks etc landed on his lawn
- if we were in his eyesight, earshot when he was outside

I wish he was alive so I could talk to him now. I have become him. I would apologize for causing him so much grief. Don't get me wrong, he was a little crazy and could have definitely benefited from lightening up a bit. But sometimes I purposely do something to make him yell, just because I knew it would ruin his day.

I am now him and I think it will only get worse. I have no patience for the 16 year old to say ... 25 year old person. The older I get, the more I seem to be annoyed by people younger than me. I can't stand it when my neighbours kid walk on my lawn or use my yard to cut across to the other street. I guess I am old fashioned. When I was a kid, I was made by my mom to go across the street and ask the neighbour if I could cut through their yard to get to school. And if my memory serves me correctly, I had to ask every year even though they were the same neighbours.

I really don't know how to stop the progression of this and I am not even sure when it started but I should really just stock up on heart and high blood pressure medication now. Sorry Mr. D.

Bad Customer Service Rep

Did you ever want to reach through the phone and strangle the customer service rep on the other end. That is how I feel right now.

Normally I lead my life according to random events,rock paper scissors and coin flipping. I used to make all my major life decisions with a Mark Messier collector coin that one of my best buds gave me. I have to say Messier served me well. I used that coin for about 6 years and then the change purse that I kept it in was either lost or stolen and I never say Mark again. At that point I was faced with a major decision (that I had a difficult time making without my coin). Do I start making my own decisions? Or do I get a new "special" coin?

See, one of the major advantages to letting a coin decide your fate is that you can't take credit for the results - good or bad. And if your believe that every thing you do is ultimately a result of fate then you really are happier because the world is just unfolding as it should. Sigh, I miss Mark Messier.

I never did get another coin and I have been struggling with decisions ever since. I am a horrible decisions maker. I over analyze and make lists of pros and cons etc. And then when I finally do decide, I rarely feel like I made the right choice.

For example, the decision to buy this particular house. I was searching and researching buying a home for about a year before I did. But this house was kind of an impulse purchase. My girlfriend at the time was living in a place where she wasn't happy, which made my life difficult. And I had some sort of emotional reaction when I walked through the door. I am still not sure what that meant but at the time I felt it had to mean something. And the house does have excellent potential. And one of my good friends is about a block and half away. All of these factors made me feel that somehow this home was divined to be mine.

OK, enough of my dysfunctional decision making process. My point was about customer service people on the end of the phone line. Part of my desire to sell this house is my budget problems. I have a good job but my car loan is $800 a month. (I know, what the hell was I thinking?!) In addition because of some bad decisions when I started living with the girlfriend, I have a line of credit with an obscenely high interest rate that I can't get rid of because I fall back on it when I get behind in other stuff. And winter is when I get behind because the 5 months of winter that are really cold average $450 a month. I know, I asked the woman I bought the home from how much Hydro was in the winter and she told me about $200. Either she was never at home in the evening when it is colder or she lied. I am going with the latter since she lied about a lot of other things.

Back to my original story - sort of. So normally I avoid small problems until they are huge and unmanageable and I have decided that really is not working for me. Instead I am trying to be an adult and head problems face on or cut them off at the pass if I can. My last two mortgage payments were returned because I used that money to pay my Hydro bill instead. (Remember the $450 a month bill, well I only have $200 a month budgeted for Hydro). I had my Hydro cut off last summer because I just didn't read the bill. I even had the money but I avoided what I knew would be a problem and ended up having to borrow money to pay the WHOLE bill and a reconnection fee. Even worse was the embarrassment of my neighbours seeing me pleading with the Hydro guy on my front lawn. So at the point where my bill hit $1000, instead of them cutting me off - in the winter. I sent an email with a payment plan. It hurt my pride a bit but not nearly as much as trying to heat the house with candles and having to move my two cats to a warmer home. Crisis avoided. I know I am getting an extra cheque at the end of April so I just had to hold it together until then.

On the 19th, I sent an email to my bank acknowledging that I am behind and to start taking payments out again on my next payday and that I would catch up at the end of the month. I got a response that they couldn't do it and I would have to phone a number to set up this arrangement. It slipped my mind because to me I had already tried to set up an arrangement. Problem solved right. Apparently not. I phoned tonight and got some snotty girl from my banks collections department. I wasn't defensive or rude, in fact I felt pretty sheepish. She kept cutting me off and not letting me explain. Her tone was immediately short and edgy. I assumed that because of her department, she is used to people with sob stories (true and otherwise) or angry. This was not me at all. I just wanted to let them know I was aware, I intended to pay and when exactly that would happen. Trying to be proactive is good right?

At one point I raised my voice and said, "You keep interrupting me, just listen to me!" Obviously she didn't get any nicer after that but I was frustrated and just wanted to end this conversation. So the arrangement is made. I thought I would feel good about this. It is another step in my personal development. However, I don't feel good. I feel ashamed and embarrassed and angry. All I have to say is I have a 5 year plan and in that plan, I am debt free by December of 2010. If I sell the house, I am debt free by July of this year. Either way I have a plan for success. I don't need to be crazy rich and will still have to work probably until I am 50 but I will be comfortable and I WILL build the house of my dreams. And if I was that person that anonymous woman on the end of the line would not have treated me that way.

Oh, and I did have my fries and gravy. I cooked them in the oven. They weren't as good. And I have decided I can't tell my mom about the fire. She would never sleep again worrying about me.

Fur balls and fire fighting

So another important lesson learned, type your blog into another program and not directly into the web page. When Firefox crashes, it doesn’t save anything.

Here we go again. This morning or rather afternoon I woke up to a pile of fur ball filled cat puke on the kitchen floor. I was very grateful for this because usually it is at the foot of my bed on my carpeted floor. and I usually find it when I stumble blindly towards the bathroom in the dark and feel the cold slimy wetness under my feet. Yech! I was feeling pretty good, I scored with puke on linolemum instead of carpet and I was about to have fries and gravy for lunch. It is there that everything went sideways.

I just about burnt the darn house down. All because of a container of Chicken Delight gravy.

This is how it started. I normally don't fry anything in oil unless it is just sauteing onions or garlic in a bit of olive oil. But I was at my buddy's place the other night watching survivor (damn those recap shows) and she had a hankering for chicken so chicken was ordered. By the by, I must complain about KFC and their central phone / delivery system. The store about 30 blocks away is the store that delivers to her home and it was closing in 15 minutes - therefore no chicken from them. The store about 5 blocks away that was still open COULD not deliver because my friend's home wasn't in their delivery area. WTF!

If we had any inclination to pick up the chicken at the closer store – no problem but with all the snow, that wasn’t going to happen. So Chicken Delight was plan B. And my buddy had a coupon so it all worked out in the end.

I don’t believe I had ever had Chicken Delight before but Wednesday night i discovered they make fantastic gravy. I really appreciate a tasty gravy. I am a decent cook but gravy is one of those things I just can’t make. Correction, I can make it but it usually isn’t edible. So it turns out that I am a little impatient. Microwaves and TV dinners have ruined me. I wanted deep fried fries because, well they taste better and they are faster. So I put the oil in the pan, put a cover on and stupidly put it on high. Luckily my stupidity isn’t total. I didn’t leave the kitchen, I just turned around to wash the dishes.

First I heard a noise, it was a sound like WHUUUMP! I vaguely recognized it as the sound of fire igniting. While my mind was searching to remember what the sound was, out of the corner of my eye I saw a bright flash. All at once my brain recognized the sound instantly. Luckily I am not the type of person to panic. I turned and the pan was on fire and the flames were about two feet high.

My first thought was turn off the heat source which would have worked well except that would have meant reaching through the two foot high flame. My second thought was BAKING SODA. I have a lot of it because I use it for everything so I dive under the sink to grab my big container and run to pour it on the fire. They don’t tell you that when you do that the fire gets a lot bigger initially. I was immediately dismayed by the bigger flash of flame and stopped pouring and jumped back. I put down the soda and went to reach for the extinguisher. (When I first moved in, my mom kept bugging me to get an extinguisher and I wanted to but never did so she got me on for Christmas last year). Anyways I go to reach for the extinguisher and realize the fire is only about half as big. The lazy part of my brain realizes that the extinguisher goop is probably harder to clean than baking soda so I decide to go with the soda again. And the second dump works. Success, fire out!

Now the aftermath, my stove and floor is covered in soda. My pan and lid are burnt beyond recognition. The smoke is so thick I can barely breathe and all I can smell is burnt plastic. Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining - it could have been much worse. I am just evaluating my surroundings so I can decide what to do next. It is -17 C outside but I have no choice, I need to start opening windows. Off goes the furnace and I open all the windows on the main floor. I discover that the mudroom door won’t open. I guess it is frozen shut. Just one more thing to add to my list of things to do.

Anyhow, when the temp got down to 13 C from the normal 20 C that I keep it at, I realize although I enjoy the brisk freshness, I can't feel my hands anymore. That was as low as I could go and the smoke was cleared so I close up the windows and put the furnace back on. I put out vinegar to get rid of the smell. Hopefully when I wake up tomorrow the smell will be gone.

I still want fries and gravy. Do I risk home and pan for another go at deep frying or do I just put them in the oven. The crappy part about this is, if I had put some in the oven after the fire, they would be done by now.

Here we go!

I have a few goals for this blog. I want to talk about my dilemma with my housing situation. I want to talk about my quest to live a simple frugal life and a bit about my adventures at work. And mixed in there will be general ramblings and funny and perhaps not so funny events in my life. So my plan is to chronicle my journey from home owner to adult child moving back in with mommy and then to home builder. I intend to chronicle the ups and downs of all things related to this. My motivation for this is twofold. There is always someone else going through something similar so those of you having this dilemma can hopefully draw from my failures and save yourself some heartache. Also there is the added bonus hopefully of this focusing me to get my sorry butt in gear. Here we go.