Pain or Sleep, Pain is Better

Well it seems my last few foggy sleep filled days may have been hormonally induced. Generally around this time of the month, I have a frenzied need to clean and organize which is followed by a day of pain and then it's pretty much over. This time just long agonizing days of fatigue. If I get the choice, I will take the pain. This sucks and I have wasted half a week. now don't get me wrong. I spend a fair bit of my life wasting time, but when I have goals and plans, don't get in my way.

So of course there is always a situation, always a decision to make. Today is new year's eve. I am totally fine with having no plans. It is just another day. OK, so I have made not so much resolutions but a list of things I want to accomplish this year. I have never done this before in such a detailed way. I feel that since last year was a difficult and I feel unsuccessful year, that I need a game plan. And I feel that a list of goals broken down into smaller manageable goals - as the time management people suggest - is the perfect way to provide that added guidance that I seem to need. At any rate, it is new year's eve and a couple of weeks ago I suggested to my mom that we hang out. You know order a pizza, watch a movie, nothing crazy. But now . . . it is cold outside and all I want is to stay in my PJ's and finish organizing my movie collection.

I know I must go however. I think she will be very disappointed if I don't go over. I do want to go, it is just getting motivated. Alright, I am going, I will jump in the shower at around 7 and leave after that.

Happy New Year's everyone. I hope 2010 is as successful for you as I plan it to be for me. Play safe tonight, you know how I worry.

Still Tired

So I have a whole pile of days off. From the 28th to the 6th. I had such big plans for stuff that I wanted to accomplish. So far they have been wasted. I have been off for 3 days and have done nothing. I haven't been able to stay awake for more than a couple of hours at a time. I wanted to tidy up a bit because the TV guy is coming tomorrow to try and fix why I have no TV upstairs. I still have time but I like doing house work during the day when the sun is shining but I guess I have no choice, he is coming tomorrow morning. Sigh!

I wanted to:
- cook about 20 meals for lunch
- organize my cassettes and sell a bunch on ebay
- go through the crap in the porch
- go through the crap in the 3rd bedroom
- paint the living room

So Tired

So I have spent the last three days drifting in and out of sleep. What a waste of days off. I am still waking up congested so I hope at least this is because my body is still fighting something.

I saw the blindside with my mom A few nights ago and it was awesome. Let me qualify. I haven't watched a commercial in about five years. I saw the trailer and it intrigued me.

For two reasons. Reason number one. My mom is an asshole ... .. and I say that with all the love that an asshole gets. Ok, let me try to explain. I am in the corrective justice industry. So right off the hop you can assume (and you can assume this to some extent that all my "clients" are being consequenced justly for the crime that he is sentenced to. Now don't get me wrong,I firmly believe in in the capacitry for a man to change.

Life is a long lesson. And I know my class hasn't been that long yet. And I get that the learning curve is a fluid concept. But I am also a realist so I ... at the same accept that the mistakes that led a man (or a a woman) to the place where he/she is now has a bit of power ... it's all how you look as it..


Anyway back to the movie.