Back and Relaxed

My Life In Cars - Part 3 - Pathfinder - Find Your Way, Don't Do What I Did

So here I am. One year left on a loan that is twice my mortgage. Do I regret the Pathfinder?

Pros
- it is incredibly safe on the highway, which I travel on a lot
- it is big enough to transport tools and home improvement accessories
- it is great for camping
- when I get a trailer, it will tow it no problem
- it's way comfortable to drive
- according to others, it rates high on the cool factor

Cons
- gas will never be 80 cents again and it is a 6 cylinder
- ridiculous car payment
- tires are crazy expensive
- repairs are crazy expensive (import)

The main problem is this ridiculous car payment. There are three reasons why I even have the $700 a month payment which is by the way, double my mortgage. (1) I bought more car than I needed at the time (2) I rolled $8000 of negative equity into this current loan and (3) I have no business purchasing a car without help.

I have one year left and it won't go fast enough. I could have sold the Pathfinder - nicknamed Bazoo 2 in honour of the Rav - but I didn't, mainly because of my fear of purchasing vehicles. Looking back - you know - 20/20 vision and all, I should have spent the money to fix the Rav and kept her. It would have been way cheaper than where I am now. And if the Rav had still died an undignified death on the side of the road somewhere, I should have bought within my means. Perhaps a Honda since I wasn't exactly very trusting of the Toyota brand at that point, although I should say it again. Please don't sue me Toyota. No one that I have ever talked to ever knew anyone that had a bad Rav story.

Can I make it through the next year. Of course I can, I have made it through the last four. Will it be difficult. Perhaps, it will be extremely difficult if not impossible if I don't stop sabotaging my own life with stupidity. Somehow I think this is a Crossroads for me. And I can only hope that I take the correct turn.

My Life In Cars - Part 2 - The Rav Chronicles

So, I looked at this horrible accident and the mystery of my buddy coming through it unscathed as some kind of a sign.

I had been eying up the Toyota Rav 4 for a while. Fortunately I had already been doing some informal research, so after a couple more weeks of formal research, I was ready to make a purchase.

I bought from a car store that I now know is more like a loan shark but live and learn I suppose. I know believe that this vehicle was somehow involved in some sort of significant accident; perhaps in Eastern Canada and it was shipped here and sold to me because I am too stupid to know better. I believe this because I had constant little problems with it and near the end I had major problems.

And the entire time, everyone I ever talked to had a similar answer.

Hmm, my uncle, aunt, nephew, baba etc. has a Rav 4 and has never had any problems.

After a while, I thought it was me but I did take care of my Rav. She was 4 door, two wheel drive, in a girly purple colour. And her name was Bazoo. She was named while road touring out in the country. It fit so it stuck.

And the Bazoo I guess was more reliable than not at least up until the end. She took me to the lake numerous times. Once out to Calgary, once out to Edmonton. Twice to Saskatoon. Once to the states to go shopping.

I actually don't remember what the purchase price was but after the fact, very helpful friends informed me that I had paid more than she was worth. And this is even while I had a male buddy with me at the dealer doing all the wheeling and dealing for me. Note to self, do my own deals. And then I only have me to blame.

At the end, the Bazoo broke down at work and had to be towed 25 Km. I was told hoses were the problem. My then fiance worked with car accessories so I got the hoses cheap and spent way to long replacing them. Mainly because I didn't know what the heck I was doing. When we were done (me and fiance) I felt awesome. My first major car repair. After the hoses were changed, still no car. So I broke down and took her to my mechanic. Rather towed her to my mechanic. The problem turned out to be some small heater piece that fell off the rad. I drove her for another few months and then traded her in.

Winter was coming and winter was always an issue. The winter problem was getting progressively worse. I couldn't get into the car without crawling in the passenger side because the driver side door was always frozen shut even though I stopped washing her in September. More than that, the passenger door wouldn't stay shut once opened so I had to buckle the door closed. The heat gradually seemed to stop working so I had to run her longer and longer to get going. I just had enough.

I had started a new job a few months before the trade-in and made quite a bit more than before. I had also bought the house. I felt like an adult and traded in the Rav with $8000 owing on it. I bought a 2003 Pathfinder Chilkoot for $30000 total. I think about it now and it doesn't make sense. I wanted the vehicle more than I an ounce of common sense. I think the loan should have been more like $22000. The trade-in and the negative equity should have just about balanced out - right? Anyhow, I ended up making payments higher than I already had, which I didn't want and I believe my sales guy got promoted from that deal. After he stopped laughing at me, he better have been sending me some good vibes. In fact he should still be sending them. I might have made his career.

Next: The Pathfinder

There Is Always Something To Worry About

Well, I am off for two weeks to visit the relos. I managed to get a seat sale and put it on a buddy's credit card. I had the money but of course I have spent most of it at this point.

I haven't told her this yet but I am hoping she can wait until the end of October. Although I guess she has no choice.

I am very much looking for ward to the trip except for the fur kids. A couple of years ago when I went, I left them in the house with a friend that promised to come over daily and spend a bit of time with them and bring in the mail. She is off of work and lives very close so it isn't as disruptive to her life as it sounds. But she wasn't very excited about doing it. And even though I called the kids and talked to them on the answering machine daily so they didn't think I had abandoned them - (yes I will be a crazy cat lady one day) - I still felt really guilty.

So this time, I am taking the kids to my moms and my friend who I owe money to will house sit. She is an awesome advocate of animals every where and will take great care of them. My worry is the little one who is really skittish. I can't decide whether leaving her alone is better than moving her for the two weeks. I will still be calling to talk to them so they know I haven't abandoned them but I am still worried. I will take things that smell like me there so they will feel at home. Besides, I lived there for 20 years. My smell must still be there.

Ohhh, so little time, so much guilt.

I Hate This Feeling But Yet I Keep Doing It To Myself

Sigh, I did it to myself. I have been stressed and worried about money for about two weeks. Thankfully I can sleep because my waking hours I feel like a black cloud is hanging over my head.

I wish this was this time next year. Living like a hermit for four years has taken it's toll. One more year.

A couple of weeks ago a tooth broke in half. It had a cavity - a root canal in fact and I guess there was a piece of the filling that broke somewhere along the way. I noticed a sharp edge when I flossed but thought nothing of it. Well, I over cooked some pizza and one bite of dense crunchy crust and snap. Luckily I have good coverage so it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

So that was an expense that was necessary. I ignored it for a week and just didn't chew on that side but after a week the gum was swollen and sore and red so the dentist was the only option. Plus if I add in unnecessary expenses. I spend money foolishly when I am stressed. You would think that knowing the aftermath of guilt and worry would stop me in the first place, but not so much. So here I am again, End of September and I had more month than money. If I had just stayed home!

CRAP

I am feeling overwhelmed.

My Life In Cars - Part 1 - Corolla: Love Of My Life

Let's go back, waaaaay back to when I was just a little gaffer yearning for a vehicle.

Picture it, summer of '96. I had my first real adult job in a town 100 kilometers a way and I was tired of borrowing my mom's car. And she was tired of me borrowing it. I wanted to buy a car. I did a fair bit of research 'cause that's how I roll. No spontaneity here (at least then anyway). I knew that I wanted a used Toyota or Honda. Initially I had wanted a Lada or a Hyundai. I was actually leaning towards the Lada. I liked the shape and they were cheap. My peers were not impressed. In fact one guy from work said - and I am paraphrasing:

These cars are made by people who make about 6 cents an hour. Do you really think there is a whole lot of quality control. Do you think they actually give a s**t whether the steering wheel is actually connected to the tires?

So after several friends rolled around laughing and crying, I quickly changed that idea. The laughter wasn't as loud regarding the Hyundai but same idea for that vehicle. And just a side note, they aren't laughing now. If I had bought a Hyundai in 2005, I wouldn't be in this situation and I would still have a reliable vehicle.

But I digress. So I went looking and I saw a 1993 black Toyota Corolla. And I fell in love. And then I got in it and the driver's seat hugged me so softly and invitingly. I was hooked. Unfortunately the salesman was in the passenger seat and I am sure he saw my expression when I touched the steering wheel for the first time. That car completed me and I knew at that moment if I left her get away I would regret it for the rest of my life.

That car represented the most successful relationship of my life thus far. It was flawless and together we were magic. I hand washed her every week. I vacuumed every crumb or grain of sand. And she never let me down. I didn't name her, but I know she was a she.

She carried lumber and bricks and snotty kids who left McDonald's french fries stuffed in her seats. Her butt was naked as her Toyota emblem was stolen early in our relationship. She had a very long scrape on her driver side where one of my drop-in kids parked her too close to a cement building while I was teaching him to drive. I felt the pain like my own flesh had been cut but she was just a car after all and the kid felt bad enough. She never complained and I did my best to keep her safe.

And then there was the summer of '99. I was working at the drop-in and the guy I worked with drove her back a day early because he had an appointment he couldn't miss. I still feel some guilt, we were up quite late arguing over something that he shared with me that day. In hindsight, he should have told me either before or after the trip but who was to know. Anyhow, He drove her because we needed the van to transport kids and camping gear. She he loaded her up with empty coolers etc. to ease the space issues in the van on the way back. He fell asleep somewhere along the way and when the road curved, he went straight. From the damage it looked like he flipped forward end over end and then landed on the passenger side. Luckily, he had his window open because he was feeling drowsy and wanted the air. IMPORTANT PUBLIC SERVICE MESSAGE: Don't drive while drowsy, it only takes a second with your eyes closed to drastically change your life. We were lucky, many are not.

He should have been killed. The only part of the car that was not damaged was the driver's compartment. The passenger side was pushed into the console. The rear seats were pushed to the front. The front engine compartment was pushed in. Not only was he not killed, he wasn't even injured. His chest was sore from the seat belt and he had a headache and a cut on his head when an empty cooler came flying forward and smacked him in the back of the head. He had some general aches and pains but he was basically untouched. My Corolla's last act was to protect my buddy from harm and as corny as it sounds I truly believe that. He told me the car stopped on the passenger side and he had to unbuckle himself and crawl out of the driver window. He then crawled to the shoulder and laid there until someone saw the wreckage and called emergency professionals.

I guess it was around a week later we went to the compound to pick up some items from the car, trunk etc. The car was so mangled, I couldn't get the car mats out of the backseat and the passenger side. We took pictures and hugged and cried. It was sad - because we knew what could and really what should have happened although we have never spoken the words out loud. It was sad - because my beloved car was in fact dead. But of course, it was more important to have my friend.

So, I needed a car. I kind of looked at it as serendipity. I had been eyeing up the Toyota Rav 4. I wasn't cheating on my Corolla but a girl is allowed to look right.

Next, the Rav chronicles.

Uh Oh, I've Just Flown Above The Radar

So I have pissed off the bank gods. I noticed that I wasn't able to access some money in my overdraft over a week ago and then again last week on payday. I called the telephone centre and they didn't know. But it happened the first time a couple of days before payday so no big deal. And then I noticed it again. So I called again and they sent me to my home branch. I never go there or talk to anyone. I do absolutely everything online but use the ATM. I called twice and left messages and received no response. So I expected everything to go as it normally would. It should have been fine except my mortgage payment didn't come out.

Anyhow, I sent an online message and then the bank phoned to tell me there were two problems (1) I have had 9 items returned in the past two years and (2) I have a savings account in overdraft that doesn't have an overdraft. Number 2 I know is a problem and I have been eking away at it but obviously not fast enough for them. Number 1 - obviously I am not a banker but 9 in two years doesn't seem all that bad to me. But obviously it doesn't matter what I think.

So I was told that if I pull up my socks and use the account appropriately for 3 to 6 months, then the held amount will be released. And it's a goofy amount too - $255.12 - bizarre. So I said why not take of the hold to make the mortgage payment. She was shocked that they would not take the payment and said she would look in to it and called me back and the mortgage was paid. Basically it means I have to stop being an idiot when it comes to money. I knew that but at least this is more motivation.

Sigh, everything gets better in 14 months when my car loan is done.

Inspired By The Flylady

I am a part of the Flylady group. I received a message today called "Food For Thought - No More Hunger" and she was talking about how much food is wasted by grocery stores and I thought I would respond and tell her my story. And then I realized what a great blog entry it would be . . .


Talking about wasted food. I used to work at a major national grocery store for 8 years when I was in university. I was also volunteering at an inner-city youth drop in centre. I used to be one of the ones to sift throw the dairy shelves and throw out “old” dairy items and at the end of the day clear out the leftover bakery items . The drop in I volunteered at served snacks to the children and it didn’t take very long before it started to make me sick to have to throw away good food because of a date. It was also this stores policy not to mark down items. They figured that then people would wait and only by the markdowns. They were so bent on throwing things away they got locked garbage bins so that street people couldn’t take the food out of the trash.


I bugged my manager for about 2 years. There were meetings with me and with the directors of the drop in. She wanted to make sure I wasn’t (or that the drop in wasn’t) reselling the food for profit. I tried to talk her into donating directly to the food bank. I knew from inquiring hypothetically that they would gladly make regular pickups at the store. I had big dreams of all the stores in city eventually donating food to their local non-profit organization. My managers answer to that was an emphatic no! She was worried about liability of someone eating something and perhaps getting sick and suing the store. So in order to make this deal happen, no one could know where the food came from. When she said that, I knew I was starting to soften her up.


Anyhow after constant hounding, she finally wore down. She tried to make the rules as inconvenient for me personally. Only I could pick up the food and only at 10:45 pm at night. Even if the shelves were broke down in the morning, it would sit (sometimes) in the cooler until night. Some of it went bad but the other employees that silently backed what I was trying to do would squeeze as much in the cooler as they could without getting in the way of stuff that had to be moved.


After about 6 months, I guess she realized these strict rules were actually hindering the way things worked at the store. I guess she figured that I would give up but I didn’t. Sometimes I took more stuff than we could use and in those instances we just gave it away. We also got food from a food bank so no one ever knew it was this store. The best part was we didn’t get a lot of dairy from the food bank. We were able to make sure that the kids had yogurts in their lunch and milk for their families. And we even started to make pizzas because we had cheese – it was to expensive to buy! So she ended up actually giving me a letter on company letterhead and the directors could do the pickups as long as they had the letter. After about 4 years she transferred to another store. I am sure the then ragged letter would have still been sufficient but by that time, I was working full time at the drop-in and wasn’t familiar with the new manager. I didn’t want to fight with the new guy and I had proved my point and helped feed an entire neighbourhood. (After a while, the stock boys would save anything that was damaged and headed for the garbage so we got pans and measuring cups and all sorts of stuff).


So in the spirit of Flylady. In North America over a million children go to bed hungry every night. Pressure your stores and try to force them to do the right thing. In this time of greenness and social responsibility, there shouldn't even be a question.

A Brother Mourned

I found out today that a co-worker died in a dramatic car crash. He was travelling down a divided road and a car turned into his lane. His truck rear ended the car and then he swerved into the other lane and was hit by a semi. I imagine he was dead on impact.

It is so sad. He was only 32. A young guy. He just got married this year. He has an infant child. I know he had a solid group of friends and was very well liked. We weren't close and thinking about it never worked together in the four years I have been there but everyone knows everyone so I am still affected. Especially since in my blog of a few days ago I talked about the very thing that killed him. Stupid people that turn into a lane where a car is already driving when there is not enough time for the person to react. Please people be careful. Wait the 5 seconds for the car to pass.

What is worse is that yesterday was the annual golf tournament of another guy from work who died on the highway on his motorcycle when a senior drifted into his lane and hit him head on. So on the day we honoured a brother who passed away, we are now burying another.

My thoughts and prayers go out to his family and friends. And to everyone at work who cared about him.