Back and Relaxed

My Life In Cars - Part 3 - Pathfinder - Find Your Way, Don't Do What I Did

So here I am. One year left on a loan that is twice my mortgage. Do I regret the Pathfinder?

Pros
- it is incredibly safe on the highway, which I travel on a lot
- it is big enough to transport tools and home improvement accessories
- it is great for camping
- when I get a trailer, it will tow it no problem
- it's way comfortable to drive
- according to others, it rates high on the cool factor

Cons
- gas will never be 80 cents again and it is a 6 cylinder
- ridiculous car payment
- tires are crazy expensive
- repairs are crazy expensive (import)

The main problem is this ridiculous car payment. There are three reasons why I even have the $700 a month payment which is by the way, double my mortgage. (1) I bought more car than I needed at the time (2) I rolled $8000 of negative equity into this current loan and (3) I have no business purchasing a car without help.

I have one year left and it won't go fast enough. I could have sold the Pathfinder - nicknamed Bazoo 2 in honour of the Rav - but I didn't, mainly because of my fear of purchasing vehicles. Looking back - you know - 20/20 vision and all, I should have spent the money to fix the Rav and kept her. It would have been way cheaper than where I am now. And if the Rav had still died an undignified death on the side of the road somewhere, I should have bought within my means. Perhaps a Honda since I wasn't exactly very trusting of the Toyota brand at that point, although I should say it again. Please don't sue me Toyota. No one that I have ever talked to ever knew anyone that had a bad Rav story.

Can I make it through the next year. Of course I can, I have made it through the last four. Will it be difficult. Perhaps, it will be extremely difficult if not impossible if I don't stop sabotaging my own life with stupidity. Somehow I think this is a Crossroads for me. And I can only hope that I take the correct turn.

My Life In Cars - Part 2 - The Rav Chronicles

So, I looked at this horrible accident and the mystery of my buddy coming through it unscathed as some kind of a sign.

I had been eying up the Toyota Rav 4 for a while. Fortunately I had already been doing some informal research, so after a couple more weeks of formal research, I was ready to make a purchase.

I bought from a car store that I now know is more like a loan shark but live and learn I suppose. I know believe that this vehicle was somehow involved in some sort of significant accident; perhaps in Eastern Canada and it was shipped here and sold to me because I am too stupid to know better. I believe this because I had constant little problems with it and near the end I had major problems.

And the entire time, everyone I ever talked to had a similar answer.

Hmm, my uncle, aunt, nephew, baba etc. has a Rav 4 and has never had any problems.

After a while, I thought it was me but I did take care of my Rav. She was 4 door, two wheel drive, in a girly purple colour. And her name was Bazoo. She was named while road touring out in the country. It fit so it stuck.

And the Bazoo I guess was more reliable than not at least up until the end. She took me to the lake numerous times. Once out to Calgary, once out to Edmonton. Twice to Saskatoon. Once to the states to go shopping.

I actually don't remember what the purchase price was but after the fact, very helpful friends informed me that I had paid more than she was worth. And this is even while I had a male buddy with me at the dealer doing all the wheeling and dealing for me. Note to self, do my own deals. And then I only have me to blame.

At the end, the Bazoo broke down at work and had to be towed 25 Km. I was told hoses were the problem. My then fiance worked with car accessories so I got the hoses cheap and spent way to long replacing them. Mainly because I didn't know what the heck I was doing. When we were done (me and fiance) I felt awesome. My first major car repair. After the hoses were changed, still no car. So I broke down and took her to my mechanic. Rather towed her to my mechanic. The problem turned out to be some small heater piece that fell off the rad. I drove her for another few months and then traded her in.

Winter was coming and winter was always an issue. The winter problem was getting progressively worse. I couldn't get into the car without crawling in the passenger side because the driver side door was always frozen shut even though I stopped washing her in September. More than that, the passenger door wouldn't stay shut once opened so I had to buckle the door closed. The heat gradually seemed to stop working so I had to run her longer and longer to get going. I just had enough.

I had started a new job a few months before the trade-in and made quite a bit more than before. I had also bought the house. I felt like an adult and traded in the Rav with $8000 owing on it. I bought a 2003 Pathfinder Chilkoot for $30000 total. I think about it now and it doesn't make sense. I wanted the vehicle more than I an ounce of common sense. I think the loan should have been more like $22000. The trade-in and the negative equity should have just about balanced out - right? Anyhow, I ended up making payments higher than I already had, which I didn't want and I believe my sales guy got promoted from that deal. After he stopped laughing at me, he better have been sending me some good vibes. In fact he should still be sending them. I might have made his career.

Next: The Pathfinder

There Is Always Something To Worry About

Well, I am off for two weeks to visit the relos. I managed to get a seat sale and put it on a buddy's credit card. I had the money but of course I have spent most of it at this point.

I haven't told her this yet but I am hoping she can wait until the end of October. Although I guess she has no choice.

I am very much looking for ward to the trip except for the fur kids. A couple of years ago when I went, I left them in the house with a friend that promised to come over daily and spend a bit of time with them and bring in the mail. She is off of work and lives very close so it isn't as disruptive to her life as it sounds. But she wasn't very excited about doing it. And even though I called the kids and talked to them on the answering machine daily so they didn't think I had abandoned them - (yes I will be a crazy cat lady one day) - I still felt really guilty.

So this time, I am taking the kids to my moms and my friend who I owe money to will house sit. She is an awesome advocate of animals every where and will take great care of them. My worry is the little one who is really skittish. I can't decide whether leaving her alone is better than moving her for the two weeks. I will still be calling to talk to them so they know I haven't abandoned them but I am still worried. I will take things that smell like me there so they will feel at home. Besides, I lived there for 20 years. My smell must still be there.

Ohhh, so little time, so much guilt.

I Hate This Feeling But Yet I Keep Doing It To Myself

Sigh, I did it to myself. I have been stressed and worried about money for about two weeks. Thankfully I can sleep because my waking hours I feel like a black cloud is hanging over my head.

I wish this was this time next year. Living like a hermit for four years has taken it's toll. One more year.

A couple of weeks ago a tooth broke in half. It had a cavity - a root canal in fact and I guess there was a piece of the filling that broke somewhere along the way. I noticed a sharp edge when I flossed but thought nothing of it. Well, I over cooked some pizza and one bite of dense crunchy crust and snap. Luckily I have good coverage so it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

So that was an expense that was necessary. I ignored it for a week and just didn't chew on that side but after a week the gum was swollen and sore and red so the dentist was the only option. Plus if I add in unnecessary expenses. I spend money foolishly when I am stressed. You would think that knowing the aftermath of guilt and worry would stop me in the first place, but not so much. So here I am again, End of September and I had more month than money. If I had just stayed home!