It looks like I have a renter for my house. Every day, I waffle on what to do with this place. I don't want to sell it but I don't want to live in it because I could save so much more living with my mom. But what to do with it in the meantime. Well, sadly a buddy from work has just broken up with his partner of 11 years and is looking for a place. The upside is he knows every thing that is wrong because we have already talked about it. Also he knows that I have been working hard on fixing things up since I have owned it. He knows I bought a new hot water tank last year etc. So he knows what he is getting into. He drove by the other day and liked the outside. We just have to coordinate schedules and do the walk-through.
But there is a problem. My mom. I love her to death, don't get me wrong but she was part of the reason why I moved out in the first place. She can't help herself from re-arranging stuff that doesn't belong to her. She can't stop poking her nose in places that it doesn't belong. If I am paying rent then I am paying for the right to put stuff where I want it. Not so. She was a firm believer in that whole my roof-my house argument. I thought that had changed, she has lightened up quite a bit in her old age but today I was made plainly aware that perhaps nothing has changed.
I don't have a vaccuum, just a Roomba. And it is great because I only have carpet upstairs but my mom feels the Roomba doesn't do a good job and comes with her vacuum to clean my carpets every once in a while. Whatever, I don't care. Well my Roomba is dead, so I welcomed her and her vacuum this afternoon. The problem was a couple of times she asked me if I wanted to do A or B. Both times I said no, I don't want that. Both times she completely disregarded what I wanted to do what she wanted. I feel like she either doesn't hear me or she does and she just doesn't care. I actually think it is one or the other depending on the situation.
So we parted and we were both upset. I called her later to make sure she got home ok because she hadn't called me yet and I tried to rationally explain how I felt. I was hoping she would say that she was sorry that she wasn't respecting my wishes in my house and that she would work on that. Instead she got mad and said she was never coming with her vacuum again. Knowing my mom the way I do, I bet right now she is stewing about how ungrateful I am and thinking that she is never coming back to this house period. Her reaction makes me think that if I moved back home, it would only be a short period of time before I was resenting her and was miserable like I was as a child. The only problem would be that I had to wait a year to get back into my house because I had rented it out to someone else.
What to do? And why I am I so bad at making decisions?
Showing posts with label decision making. Show all posts
Showing posts with label decision making. Show all posts
Monday, April 27, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
Bad Customer Service Rep
Did you ever want to reach through the phone and strangle the customer service rep on the other end. That is how I feel right now.
Normally I lead my life according to random events,rock paper scissors and coin flipping. I used to make all my major life decisions with a Mark Messier collector coin that one of my best buds gave me. I have to say Messier served me well. I used that coin for about 6 years and then the change purse that I kept it in was either lost or stolen and I never say Mark again. At that point I was faced with a major decision (that I had a difficult time making without my coin). Do I start making my own decisions? Or do I get a new "special" coin?
See, one of the major advantages to letting a coin decide your fate is that you can't take credit for the results - good or bad. And if your believe that every thing you do is ultimately a result of fate then you really are happier because the world is just unfolding as it should. Sigh, I miss Mark Messier.
I never did get another coin and I have been struggling with decisions ever since. I am a horrible decisions maker. I over analyze and make lists of pros and cons etc. And then when I finally do decide, I rarely feel like I made the right choice.
For example, the decision to buy this particular house. I was searching and researching buying a home for about a year before I did. But this house was kind of an impulse purchase. My girlfriend at the time was living in a place where she wasn't happy, which made my life difficult. And I had some sort of emotional reaction when I walked through the door. I am still not sure what that meant but at the time I felt it had to mean something. And the house does have excellent potential. And one of my good friends is about a block and half away. All of these factors made me feel that somehow this home was divined to be mine.
OK, enough of my dysfunctional decision making process. My point was about customer service people on the end of the phone line. Part of my desire to sell this house is my budget problems. I have a good job but my car loan is $800 a month. (I know, what the hell was I thinking?!) In addition because of some bad decisions when I started living with the girlfriend, I have a line of credit with an obscenely high interest rate that I can't get rid of because I fall back on it when I get behind in other stuff. And winter is when I get behind because the 5 months of winter that are really cold average $450 a month. I know, I asked the woman I bought the home from how much Hydro was in the winter and she told me about $200. Either she was never at home in the evening when it is colder or she lied. I am going with the latter since she lied about a lot of other things.
Back to my original story - sort of. So normally I avoid small problems until they are huge and unmanageable and I have decided that really is not working for me. Instead I am trying to be an adult and head problems face on or cut them off at the pass if I can. My last two mortgage payments were returned because I used that money to pay my Hydro bill instead. (Remember the $450 a month bill, well I only have $200 a month budgeted for Hydro). I had my Hydro cut off last summer because I just didn't read the bill. I even had the money but I avoided what I knew would be a problem and ended up having to borrow money to pay the WHOLE bill and a reconnection fee. Even worse was the embarrassment of my neighbours seeing me pleading with the Hydro guy on my front lawn. So at the point where my bill hit $1000, instead of them cutting me off - in the winter. I sent an email with a payment plan. It hurt my pride a bit but not nearly as much as trying to heat the house with candles and having to move my two cats to a warmer home. Crisis avoided. I know I am getting an extra cheque at the end of April so I just had to hold it together until then.
On the 19th, I sent an email to my bank acknowledging that I am behind and to start taking payments out again on my next payday and that I would catch up at the end of the month. I got a response that they couldn't do it and I would have to phone a number to set up this arrangement. It slipped my mind because to me I had already tried to set up an arrangement. Problem solved right. Apparently not. I phoned tonight and got some snotty girl from my banks collections department. I wasn't defensive or rude, in fact I felt pretty sheepish. She kept cutting me off and not letting me explain. Her tone was immediately short and edgy. I assumed that because of her department, she is used to people with sob stories (true and otherwise) or angry. This was not me at all. I just wanted to let them know I was aware, I intended to pay and when exactly that would happen. Trying to be proactive is good right?
At one point I raised my voice and said, "You keep interrupting me, just listen to me!" Obviously she didn't get any nicer after that but I was frustrated and just wanted to end this conversation. So the arrangement is made. I thought I would feel good about this. It is another step in my personal development. However, I don't feel good. I feel ashamed and embarrassed and angry. All I have to say is I have a 5 year plan and in that plan, I am debt free by December of 2010. If I sell the house, I am debt free by July of this year. Either way I have a plan for success. I don't need to be crazy rich and will still have to work probably until I am 50 but I will be comfortable and I WILL build the house of my dreams. And if I was that person that anonymous woman on the end of the line would not have treated me that way.
Oh, and I did have my fries and gravy. I cooked them in the oven. They weren't as good. And I have decided I can't tell my mom about the fire. She would never sleep again worrying about me.
Normally I lead my life according to random events,rock paper scissors and coin flipping. I used to make all my major life decisions with a Mark Messier collector coin that one of my best buds gave me. I have to say Messier served me well. I used that coin for about 6 years and then the change purse that I kept it in was either lost or stolen and I never say Mark again. At that point I was faced with a major decision (that I had a difficult time making without my coin). Do I start making my own decisions? Or do I get a new "special" coin?
See, one of the major advantages to letting a coin decide your fate is that you can't take credit for the results - good or bad. And if your believe that every thing you do is ultimately a result of fate then you really are happier because the world is just unfolding as it should. Sigh, I miss Mark Messier.
I never did get another coin and I have been struggling with decisions ever since. I am a horrible decisions maker. I over analyze and make lists of pros and cons etc. And then when I finally do decide, I rarely feel like I made the right choice.
For example, the decision to buy this particular house. I was searching and researching buying a home for about a year before I did. But this house was kind of an impulse purchase. My girlfriend at the time was living in a place where she wasn't happy, which made my life difficult. And I had some sort of emotional reaction when I walked through the door. I am still not sure what that meant but at the time I felt it had to mean something. And the house does have excellent potential. And one of my good friends is about a block and half away. All of these factors made me feel that somehow this home was divined to be mine.
OK, enough of my dysfunctional decision making process. My point was about customer service people on the end of the phone line. Part of my desire to sell this house is my budget problems. I have a good job but my car loan is $800 a month. (I know, what the hell was I thinking?!) In addition because of some bad decisions when I started living with the girlfriend, I have a line of credit with an obscenely high interest rate that I can't get rid of because I fall back on it when I get behind in other stuff. And winter is when I get behind because the 5 months of winter that are really cold average $450 a month. I know, I asked the woman I bought the home from how much Hydro was in the winter and she told me about $200. Either she was never at home in the evening when it is colder or she lied. I am going with the latter since she lied about a lot of other things.
Back to my original story - sort of. So normally I avoid small problems until they are huge and unmanageable and I have decided that really is not working for me. Instead I am trying to be an adult and head problems face on or cut them off at the pass if I can. My last two mortgage payments were returned because I used that money to pay my Hydro bill instead. (Remember the $450 a month bill, well I only have $200 a month budgeted for Hydro). I had my Hydro cut off last summer because I just didn't read the bill. I even had the money but I avoided what I knew would be a problem and ended up having to borrow money to pay the WHOLE bill and a reconnection fee. Even worse was the embarrassment of my neighbours seeing me pleading with the Hydro guy on my front lawn. So at the point where my bill hit $1000, instead of them cutting me off - in the winter. I sent an email with a payment plan. It hurt my pride a bit but not nearly as much as trying to heat the house with candles and having to move my two cats to a warmer home. Crisis avoided. I know I am getting an extra cheque at the end of April so I just had to hold it together until then.
On the 19th, I sent an email to my bank acknowledging that I am behind and to start taking payments out again on my next payday and that I would catch up at the end of the month. I got a response that they couldn't do it and I would have to phone a number to set up this arrangement. It slipped my mind because to me I had already tried to set up an arrangement. Problem solved right. Apparently not. I phoned tonight and got some snotty girl from my banks collections department. I wasn't defensive or rude, in fact I felt pretty sheepish. She kept cutting me off and not letting me explain. Her tone was immediately short and edgy. I assumed that because of her department, she is used to people with sob stories (true and otherwise) or angry. This was not me at all. I just wanted to let them know I was aware, I intended to pay and when exactly that would happen. Trying to be proactive is good right?
At one point I raised my voice and said, "You keep interrupting me, just listen to me!" Obviously she didn't get any nicer after that but I was frustrated and just wanted to end this conversation. So the arrangement is made. I thought I would feel good about this. It is another step in my personal development. However, I don't feel good. I feel ashamed and embarrassed and angry. All I have to say is I have a 5 year plan and in that plan, I am debt free by December of 2010. If I sell the house, I am debt free by July of this year. Either way I have a plan for success. I don't need to be crazy rich and will still have to work probably until I am 50 but I will be comfortable and I WILL build the house of my dreams. And if I was that person that anonymous woman on the end of the line would not have treated me that way.
Oh, and I did have my fries and gravy. I cooked them in the oven. They weren't as good. And I have decided I can't tell my mom about the fire. She would never sleep again worrying about me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
GayRites.NET
Posts
