Saturday, February 20, 2010

In Grief

I had the loose framework of a post that I wanted to write on Thursday night. I felt exuberant and free and wanted to share my joy with the world. Well I will still write that post but it is now tainted by a great sadness.

My friend's young cat had to be put down yesterday. I don't know all the details as I understand how raw the pain is for her. I will call the cat "Bootsy" for the sake of respect and privacy. The story of Bootsy is for another day as I am grieving as well.

Big sigh, anyhow before I learned of Bootsy's passing, I was feeling exuberant. After a situation at work that I see as another form of harassment. I had experienced some harassment from a peer last year and have been dealing with the emotional aftermath since that time. Last year during that difficult time, I was not dealing with it well at all. Actually, I don't really deal with adversity well at all period. Unfortunately or fortunately depending on your point of view working with difficult people in a difficult environment has forced me to speak up to defend myself and learn to deal with adversity.

I am a firm believer that you are where you are supposed to be so perhaps these are all lessons that I need to learn to have a happy successful life. In the meantime however, it makes for some crappy and dark days. This is where my wonderful mood comes in. I didn't go home after a couple of difficult days at work and cry (as I have done in the past). I also didn't toss and turn as I replayed conversations over and over in my head, second guessing my responses and wishing I had said different things (as I have also done in the past). I slept like a baby and woke up rested and content. When I realized that this minor setback (because really, it is not the end of world although sometimes things feel that big and bad in the moment), hadn't shut me down as minor setbacks in the past have done, I felt victorious.

I am a Phoenix rising out of the ashes and I know today that I am mentally and emotionally stronger today than I was even a week ago. Those bastards can throw their best at me. As long as I continue to try to be a diligent fair employee, there is nothing they can do to me. Bring it, I'm ready! Wednesday, February 17th is my new birthday - financially and emotionally. Today is the first day of the rest of my life.


Rest in peace Bootsy. I am convinced that you are a angel that I was fortunate enough to know for just over two years. Thank you for sharing a part of your life with me.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Damn Nice

It is a damn nice feeling to not feel the pressure of bills unpaid, looming large in your mind and in your dreams. To be able to plan is awesome. And the cushion of my now very small emergency fund is like a cloud under my feet. Wow, so this is a tiny taste of being debt free. I can't wait!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Hmm, It seemed like a good idea at the time

So I have made what at the time seemed like a great decision. Now I a a little apprehensive but what is done is done so there can be no looking back now. I took out a consolidation loan which will free up $475 every paycheque. The loan is pretty high interest but is only $350 a month so I can pay ahead on that loan and still throw some money at the line of credit (also high interest) and still have a little to build up a small emergency fund.

I did go a little crazy. I bought Michael Buble tickets because he is awesome and I was celebrating my good decision. I bought a cheap vacuum cleaner because I have been borrowing my mom's for about a year and that really sucks. It is refurbished and the belt broke the first time I used it. I bought an extended warranty for $10 which gives me two years so I can deal with that. I bought a new belt for $6.50 and look at 'er go.

So after this Wednesday's payday, my car loan will be done. Complete. Mine all mine. Now Bazoo 2 is free to break down. Lol, please Murphy, if you must use your Law on me wait until next winter when car dealers are desperate for a deal.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Net Worth - Better Than I Thought

So I have been reading a lot of financially related blogs and I just read one by Spilling Buckets - Positive Net Worth: The Day of Zero! and they were celebrating that fact that after just under a year of budgeting and frugal living, they have achieved a positive net worth. The whole article gave me a great deal of encouragement. I have felt trapped by my debt mainly for the last year. Really only since I have set my goal of being debt free. Since then I have realized that I have been and still am wasting literally tens of thousands of dollars on interest. But if I look at my situation in terms of net worth I am not doing too badly.

Value Owed
Home $60,000 $41,000
Second property $15,000 $ 9,000
Vehicle $10,000 $ 7,800
Other Debt $ 900
$ 2,000
$ 8,000
$ 1,800

$85,000 $70,500


Based on my rough numbers I have a net worth of $14,500. Which is remarkable because my net worth will be really rockin' in less than a year. I am energized and my resolve to keep on this path is solidified.

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